


The Grading Version of Good Cop, Bad Cop

by Vermin_Disciple



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, My coping mechanisms let me show you them, School, Silly, Undercover, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-09 23:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vermin_Disciple/pseuds/Vermin_Disciple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"You can't just fail all of them, Sherlock."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Grading Version of Good Cop, Bad Cop

**Author's Note:**

> In the same vein as [On the Benefits of a Classical Education](http://archiveofourown.org/works/442676) (which is to say, written when I was buried under student papers, and about ready to gnaw off my grading fingers in frustration). Not beta'd or britpicked, because I wrote it purely for my own amusement (or rather, catharsis), and it is really too short and cracky to bother, but if you notice anything feel free to point it out.

"You can't just fail all of them, Sherlock." 

"Can," said Sherlock, not looking up from his – or rather, John's – computer. "They're all idiots." 

John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose – the better to block the line of 0s and 1s balefully staring at him from the course website's assignment submission page. He suspected that Sherlock was only doing this so that he would take over all the grading out of pity. 

Sherlock, by all appearances, was not paying any attention to him. John was past falling for this trick – he knew what it felt like to be genuinely ignored by Sherlock, and this was not it. This was ignoring as performance art. Sherlock hmm'd, and another 0 added itself to the gradebook. 

Bait, clearly bait. 

"What was wrong with that one?" he heard himself ask. He plopped himself down on the sofa, defeated. Sherlock did not quite smile that smug bastard smile of his, but it was a near thing. He turned the screen in John's direction, though he didn't relinquish the computer. John edged closer, feeling like an insect headed for the friendly glow of a bug zapper. 

It was rather worrying that Sherlock knew exactly when to scroll down. If he asked, Sherlock would probably tell him his exact reading speed in words per minute. It was maddening.

And a bit brilliant. 

"It's not that bad," he said. 

Sherlock laced his fingers together and gazed at him from under half-closed eyelids. "Oh, and what score would you have given it, John?" 

It was just part of the case, John reminded himself sternly. It wasn't as though they were really their – no, _Sherlock's_ – students. With luck, their grades would be someone else's problem in a week or so. One little blot on their records wouldn't kill them. It would probably be erased as soon as someone sane took over grading.

"I dunno. It's out of 10, right? So, er… 7?" he hazarded. 

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "And tell me, how did you arrive at that remarkable number? The mechanizations of your mind are a source of _constant_ fascination." 

"Well," said John, wishing he had kept his mouth shut, "I don't see why you haven't given her points for the first one. That question asks for an opinion, Sherlock. There is no right answer. You can't deduct points because you think her opinion's stupid." 

"Her opinion is based on a logical fallacy. And her grammar is appalling." 

That, regrettably, was true. 

"Yes," he said anyway, "but according the grading rubric you can only deduct a maximum of 30% for grammar. That's _3_ points, Sherlock."

"Whoever wrote the grading rubric should be fired. And possibly shot," said Sherlock. "I've taken the liberty of adjusting it." 

This was going to turn into the grading version of good cop, bad cop, if he let it continue. John sighed again, mostly for effect; he'd walked into this knowing he was defeated, after all. 

"Just give me the damn computer, will you?"

_Finis_


End file.
